What I Have Learned So Far From Our New House:
* DO let your husband surprise you with a Johnny Depp poster hung behind all of your clothes in the closet so that, whenever you pull a shirt from the hanger, a gorgeous pirate smiles back at you.
* DO clean your tiny master bathroom mirrors with Barbisol shaving cream so that they don’t fog up in the morning when you can’t open the bathroom door to let the steam out because your sleeping husband’s face will catch the brunt of the light.
* DON’T decide to clip the irises around your mailbox after you get home from the bar at 1 in the morning, only to wake up the next day and see a plant massacre on the front lawn.
* DO get a label maker and label everything you own so that there is no question as to where the king sheets go in the linen closet any longer.
* DO get a Swiffer to magically attract all of the dog hair on the wood floors.
* DON’T wait to use the Swiffer until there is so much amassed dog hair on the baseboards that you burn through 6 duster sheets and still don’t get it all.
* DO buy a lawn mower so that your husband dances around the yard while he mows the grass because he’s so excited to mow his own grass for the very first time. (Added bonus=the song and jig that he made up while we were at Lowe's buying the mower and he got to get a cart because we had so much big stuff!).
* DON’T buy your first lawn mower 1 hour before you have to be somewhere, because your husband will not be able to stop himself from immediately cutting the grass, front yard AND back, appointments or not.
* DO throw things away that you hate, regardless of the emotional attachment. It's much better to apologize to the person that gave you that antique lunchpail than to look at it every day with disgust in your heart and a not-often-enough-used duster in your hand.
* DON’T assume that the kitchen faucet isn’t leaking just because your home inspector told you it wasn’t.
* DO force your husband to give you one of his dresser drawers even if he needs it because you are so over your stupid collegey plastic closet drawers and need a place for your underthings.
* DON’T make fun of your husband for all of the ridiculous mementos he keeps in his top dresser drawer…(OK, you should absolutely make fun of the “keepsake socks” from Boy Scouts and the blinking LED belt buckle and the beer bottle caps from Colorado that he has every intention of making into refrigerator magnets…).
More lessons to come…
