Waxing Alabama...by me

tyrone prothro, brodie croyle,
juwan, kenneth, and tim,
every time i think of you,
a tear also falls for him.
he, the coach, the lamb of a man,
the tender-hearted doll.
oh what i wouldn't give for him
to come back to bama ball.
but alas, the bama fans are nuts
and demand a higher rank,
and rest assured, coach nick saban
laughs all the way to the bank.
but this season does offer us
a glint of shining hope,
that saban, wilson, grant, and hall,
and tiffin (he's no dope),
can ride the wave of crimson tide
right to old auburn's door,
shut down the farmer battle cry
and add to bama lore.
could this be it, number 13?
i think it's a little fast,
but God willing, our redneck rivals
will feel the BAMA BLAST!

Lament to a Nose Ring

I had it for 6 years and now it's gone. There were no long goodbyes, no tearful partings. It was there, and then it wasn't. And I miss it and I don't. I miss the feeling it gave me, the sense of badassishness that it provided in a world where so often I'm not so badassish. I do not, however, miss worrying about losing it every time I blew my nose. In our time together, we became virtually inseparable. It never left my side (er, nose). In the end I suppose it decided it was time for a different path, as so many of life's pairings inevitably separate. Either that, or it was the constant wiping of sweat off of my face in our last game of 110-degree-weather golf. Either way, it's gone and I've decided that I will let it go. Actually, I decided that after several failed attempts to replace it. Apparently my nose had grown so accustomed to that particular stud that it had no eyes for any other. So, as my mother whispers silent prayers of thanks, I will go on, sans facial piercing. I wonder who this new person will be. I wonder where my need for the occasional feeling of badassishness will be satiated. Perhaps it is time for my first tattoo (sorry, Mom)?